Not as much of a change, as it has been a realization. When I say, surrender, I don’t mean letting go of the steering wheel and closing my eyes. I mean, realizing that there are so many things that are out of my control. For instance, people are out of my control. The economy, rental markets, property managers, renters, all of the demands of my day job are out of my control. The traffic, culture, the weather, yesterday, next month, next week, tomorrow, and even all the minutes of today are not in my control. Sure, I can exercise some influence over some of it. I can give it structure and embed routines and try to mitigate the chance of it all going wrong. But to control it? Not a chance.
The funny thing about surrender is that it reveals what prevents us from embracing it. Things like control, pride, self-reliance, fear, lack of trust, and faint-heartedness.
We resist choosing surrender, because we mistake surrender for weakness. Hello, pride. We delay because we believe it’s a last resort. Hello, control, self-reliance, fear. If I don’t hold everything together, won’t it all collapse? Hello, lack of trust. As a result, we are typically forced to surrender. The consequences of our own actions/behavior, outside situations, or God push us to the realization.
But whether we welcome surrender or forced to our knees, something happens with the act. I say act, because surrender takes action. Some think surrendering is inaction. “He makes me lie down in green pastures…” as in Psalm 23. If I’m lying down, I’m not doing anything. Green pastures are for feeding and resting. Both of these are actions. They are not the actions we want to take, but nevertheless…. We forget the rest of the verse too. “He leads me beside quiet waters…He restores my soul…” Being still and quiet can be extremely hard to do, especially in this constant age of connection. The kicker here is, “He restores my soul…”. That requires so little of me, but it is so hard to let happen. Having my soul restored means I need to open my heart. I need to let it be softened. I need to let it come awake and alive.
Surrender is recognizing that I can’t manage my life all of the time and that I need help. Surrender is a daily choice and I don’t always make it. Trusting is a choice, but I don’t always trust. There is a lot to be said about personal development, discipline, stick-to-itiveness, industry, resilience, etc. This blog has tons of quotes on those subjects, but they can’t sustain me all of the time. Willpower and stubbornness will only get us so far.
Surrendering is recognizing and admitting my weaknesses. Not ignoring my weaknesses or hiding from them. When I hide or go it alone, I’m left feeling angry, frustrated, and heading in the wrong direction.
Surrendering causes me to pause and assess where I am. To check in with my Maker and to check in with my heart. It is better to hit your knees willingly, rather than be forced to kneel. The more I exercise surrendering, the less I’m likely to be controlling or self-reliant or fearful.
Chase The Kangaroo 
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